10. The Art of Sarcasm
Ah yes, the wicked joy of sarcasm. Too bad Watson doesn’t seem to have the mental capacity to comprehend the different tone of voice and gestures to enjoy it. Aw don’t worry Watson, no one really uses sarcasm anyway. Why would anyone use such a means?
9. Louisville Slugger
Sorry Watson. Though for a human, taking a Louisville Slugger to the gut would hurt, it wouldn’t damage any panels or mainframes. Point again, to the human race.
8. Battle of the Sexes
Always a fun part of our society. I know computer cords can be deemed “male” or “female” depending on its outlets, but if you can take both..what’s the call? Anyway, pick a side.
7. Sports and Games
Sure, I’m going to assume that IBM’s Watson can rock out in some Chess. But Connect Four? Tennis? Golf? Major doubt.
I don’t see a fox trot, or even the Cupid Shuffle in your future.
Plain and simple, Watson can read anything that has the foundation of 1s and Os. Anything deviating from that will be lost. In a world of black and white, there’s no room for red.
4. Free Will
Similar to above, free will is obsolete when it comes to Watson. It’s not self- aware (yet). And when or if it can become that, it is still programmed to operate under a protocol. Nothing it comes up with will be unmappable.
3. Laws of Attraction
No Watson, that LCD projector isn’t winking at you. The bulb is bad.
Watson is stuck with being a Jeopardy contestant, or becoming the latest ChaCha answer consultant.
1. The Uber Geek
Just the fact ma’m. No jokes, and Watson definitely doesn’t ask the questions. Only answers them. Watson, no one likes a know-it-all.
- “Overview of IBM Watson on Jeopardy!” and related posts (doobybrain.com)