I got to wondering, how would William Shakespeare react to today’s man? With undoubtedly a slight bias of my own, I believe the Ol’ Bard would write something like this:
Ode to Man
O Man! O fall from Grace! What Ferocious wounds thou has endured!
Didst thou blaspheme ‘ganst Jove Himself? Didst thou’s testicular fortitude crumble?
Where is thou strength? Where is thou honor? Nay, I believe the World will leave Man nude if Father Time made Her able.
For my quarrel tis not with Woman, nor is it with the modern one, nor with the successful. The tide has changed, and Power must be given to both sex, O wondrous equality!
I do fear, that Man and Modern Man are strangers. Indeed, for the Man I knew once, knows not the Modern Man that’s known now. For if Man did know Modern Man, Man would much deny knowing him.
How easy tears do come to this Modern Man!
How simple is this Modern Man!
Let Skinny Jeans raid our countryside! Modern Man, Thou shaved legs await.
Let us welcome the ready hate towards Masculinity. Modern Man, curse your Fathers, dare they turn on Football when feelings needed to be aired? Ha! What fools. Emo bands, awake!
I, poor I, shall not be counted amongst the celebratory. Woe is Me, that believes that a Man tis not a Woman’s subject, but Her loving mate and partner.
Woe is Me, that dare not curse thy Father, but places him in a safe place. Tis his throne which I model mine; with few twists towards mine own natural fancy.
Woe is Me that will not throw ambition, strength nay, or pride into the wind. Nay, my humble and young mind yearns to work with Her, not for Her (and also Her with Me, not for me).
Zounds! World, thou shall not cast thou’s Victory flag yet. Am I part of a dying Breed? Yea, but a living breed yet more.
O public spectacle! Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Bravo! What evil, what thorough work!
O caution, my Queens, beware us foolish and most stubborn men and women that cannot, will not oblige the commands in your pages. We few who still believe in balance, yea, we few that believe two brains- one hers, and one his- can join, without one dominant.
We can yet still win this day.
The move is yours, and let the best win as they may.